Waste of Time | Procrastiblog

December 21, 2008

The Digg Effect: Bacon Edition

Filed under: Waste of Time — Chris @ 3:02 pm

In case you’re curious, here’s a snapshot of the Digg effect hitting this blog, from beginning to end:

11/22 - 12/21/2008

In short: our average daily traffic, from July through Dec 14, 2008, was between 10 and 50 page views. On Dec 15, after appearing on the Bacon Reddit (?!), we had 292 page views. On Dec 16, after appearing on the front page of Digg (?!!), we had 20,960 page views. Even today, after the wave has passed, we’re still getting several hundred page views a day on the bacon post, including a trickle of referrals from digg.com/page45 and the like (who are these people?!).

Bottom line: write more about bacon, even if it’s stupid.

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Just to Annoy H…

Filed under: Waste of Time — Chris @ 11:00 am

And because it’s awesome. Can you identify this bit of film dialogue, and explain to my wife why it’s hilarious?

A MAN and a WOMAN are lying in bed, kissing and caressing.

WOMAN: What else should I know?
MAN: I could teach you the secret of how to treat azaleas.
WOMAN: Oh, tell me. I’m all ears.
MAN: I can see that. Well… just treat them the same way as you would a begonia.
WOMAN: No kidding?
MAN: That’s gospel.
WOMAN: You mean what you’re saying is what’s good for azaleas is good for begonias?
MAN: You got it.
WOMAN: [MAN’s name], this is fascinating.
MAN: I thought you’d be interested.

For extra credit, explain why the above scene is funnier than the following.

A SECURITY GUARD finds an OTHER MAN engaged in a theft.

SECURITY GUARD: Hold it right there, nigger.
OTHER MAN: Hey! How you doin’, old dude? What’s happenin’?

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October 30, 2008

This is your post for October

Filed under: Waste of Time — Chris @ 8:54 am

Just because I don’t like to see gaps in the archives… Twitter has been doing an astonishingly good job gobbling up the raw dough of my thoughts before they become half-baked blog posts.

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August 19, 2008

Fun with Keyword Analysis II

Filed under: Not Tech, Waste of Time — Chris @ 8:13 am

I got a hit the other day on the search term “stolen whiskey”. I hope you found what you’re looking for, stranger.

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April 2, 2008

Ted Turner is a Demented Genius

Filed under: Not Tech, Waste of Time, YouTube — Chris @ 12:01 am

I now have a man-crush on Ted Turner. (I’m going to have to get in line behind Charlie Rose.) Charlie tries and tries, but Ted Turner has no truck with interrupters.

My favorite part is where they debate whether he should invite Rupert Murdoch to his birthday party. I’m not kidding! It’s starts around 19:00. At 12:45, he sings an entire verse and chorus of “My Old Kentucky Home”! And Charlie just sits there with dewy eyes, like a bleach-blonde skank being serenaded by Bret Michaels!

UPDATE: The embed seems to have died, but the video is still at the Charlie Rose website.

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March 11, 2008

Flashdance

Filed under: Not Tech, Waste of Time, YouTube — Chris @ 11:59 pm

Here’s a video of me talking about Flashdance—a movie I had never seen before and plan to never see again—with my old friend Jonathan Betzler.

You know, I don’t think I’ve seen myself on video in ten years or more (I like to remember things my own way. Not necessarily the way they happened) and I find this… surprisingly un-excruciating. Maybe it’s a trick of the light.

Jonathan is threatening to do 23 more of these through the end of the year. (Last week was The Right Stuff. The rest will be posted here.)

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December 22, 2007

I’m Very Disappointed In You People

Filed under: Not Tech, Waste of Time — Chris @ 9:21 pm

Annie G. was voted only the second cutest dog in Baltimore, coming in behind a frankly not-that-cute mutt that had the good sense to yawn for the camera. People, you’re making me look like an asshole. How am I supposed to bring home the bacon if I can’t deliver votes?

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December 5, 2007

The Key to Reserva

Filed under: Not Tech, Waste of Time — Chris @ 3:54 am

This is awesome. As H says, there’s nobody better than Martin Scorsese:

I’m obviously not going to shoot them as I would, but… can I shoot them as Hitchcock? I don’t think so! So, who will I shoot them as? This is the question. This is the question and this is the process.

Fair warning: it’s a commercial.

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December 2, 2007

The Cutest Dog in Baltimore

Filed under: Not Tech, Waste of Time — Chris @ 11:48 pm

This is my friend Mike’s dog Annie. Annie is the kind of dog that will jump up onto the couch and lay her head in your lap and look up at you with just exactly this look in her eyes. In short: she’s cute. But is she the Cutest Dog in Baltimore? I’d say so, but it’s not up to me. It’s up to you: the people of, um, Baltimore. Vote early and vote often.