Procrastiblog

November 24, 2008

Peanut Butter Panic*

Filed under: Food — Chris @ 7:01 pm

Peanut butter is a problem. No right-thinking person would condescend to eat Skippy, but “natural-style” peanut butters are annoying: they separate, usually coming with a puddle of oil on top; no matter how well you mix them, they get hard and nigh-unspreadable by the time you’ve reached the bottom. The way I see it, you’ve got three options:

  1. Remove all of the peanut butter from the jar, mix it using a hand or stand mixer, and then put it back into the jar. The resulting mixture will be more stable than anything you can accomplish with a butter knife from atop the jar. This is, needless to say, a bit of a pain in the ass.
  2. Purchase a special-purpose peanut-butter stirrer. But that’s crazy. Anybody you might buy such a thing for would be liable to fail to appreciate it, and you’d be frustrated.
  3. Make your own peanut butter! This is surprisingly easy.

Even if you prefer Options 1 and 2 for your everyday, average peanut butter, making your own peanut butter affords you the opportunity to add things like honey, maple syrup, garam masala, and so on and so forth. I.e., just generally dress that shit up. Here is my very own, extremely easy recipe for honey roasted peanut butter, which is, IMHO, the very best kind of peanut butter and, served atop a toasted English muffin, makes, IMHO, the very best quick breakfast a man could ask for.

Honey roasted peanut butter
1 c. roasted peanuts, unsalted
1 tsp. kosher salt
1 Tbsp. honey
1 Tbsp. peanut, canola, or other vegetable oil

Put the peanuts, salt, and honey in a food processor. Press Go (or Start or Yes or whatever). The peanuts will go through a few stages: chopped nuts, finely chopped nuts, nut meal, nut paste. At the paste stage, the mixture will form a ball. At this point, start drizzling oil into the food processor. The ball will gradually de-form in something recognizable as peanut butter. The whole process will take 2-3 minutes. Adjust the amount of oil to get the desired consistency. Adjust the salt and honey to taste. Keeps in the fridge for several weeks, at least.

* There are about three people in the world who would know where I got the title of this post. And none of them read this blog.

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8 Comments

  1. A. I think more appliances should have “Yes” buttons.

    B. I suspect I’m not 1 of the 3 people you were thinking of, but I recognized the inspiration for the title.

    Comment by Andy — November 25, 2008 @ 12:36 am

  2. Andy, It’s true, I have no strong recollection of you playing games on the our C64. However, I this does dislodge a peanut butter-related memory. I recall you, at the age of probably 8 or 9 years old, describing with disbelief the sight of Mr. Rogers attempts to make peanut butter: you said he had tried to mash together peanuts and butter. Ridiculous!

    Comment by Chris — November 25, 2008 @ 8:25 am

  3. I can’t decide whether you’re saying I thought Mr. Rogers was an idiot or a genius.

    Comment by Andy — November 25, 2008 @ 5:51 pm

  4. You definitely thought he was an idiot.

    Comment by Chris — November 25, 2008 @ 10:31 pm

  5. i just store the jar of Laura Scudder’s upside-down in the cupboard, works like a charm.

    Comment by harris — December 17, 2008 @ 2:20 pm

  6. You mean the oil magically un-separates when you store the jar upside down? Or you mix, then store upside down, and re-separation/hardening is minimized?

    Comment by Chris — December 17, 2008 @ 2:38 pm

  7. the latter. i just put it on the shelf that way, then mix it a little after opening. the spread at the top will still be oily but not nearly as much.

    Comment by harris — December 18, 2008 @ 2:15 am

  8. Intriguing…

    Comment by Chris — December 18, 2008 @ 11:14 am


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